she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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