My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
honey bunches of taint.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
