Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
