Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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