So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
