Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
