There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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