Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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