Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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