Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
