I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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