All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
