Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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