I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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