That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
