I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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