I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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