Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
