there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
