i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize