Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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