32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
