Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
