Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
As shirtless as possible
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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