Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
