he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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