if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
