I need to stop coming to work sober
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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