She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize