I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize