I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
