I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
