Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
