my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
