Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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