Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
