we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize