god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
