Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
