Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
