Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
