It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
