Can Purell be used as lube?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
