On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
