Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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