It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
