you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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