In America we eat man semen.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
this hospital has no fireball
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
