if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
