Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
