these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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