My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm passing your future prison.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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