we're blogging at a bar
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
i need some magic done to my vagina
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
