this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
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