I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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