it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
