end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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