he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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