i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
