scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
