okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
